End of the Bench: Observations on the World of Sports
 
Don’t get me wrong—I love Lebron. He is my second favorite player after Dwyane Wade and debatably the most entertaining athlete on the planet, let alone the NBA. All year I have ooh-ed and ahh-ed just like everyone else. This whole season I have been waiting for a Kobe-Lebron matchup in the finals, where Lebron would destroy Kobe, thereby shutting up every single Lakers fan, and all would be right with the world. Then Tuesday night hit, where I was witness to one of the more disappointing performances I have ever seen.

I watched through the beginning of the second quarter and then ran to the grocery store with my mom and got back in time for the third quarter. I was shocked that the Cavs had lost their lead but I was fairly confident that the Cavs would be alright because they are at home and they have Lebron and all. Looks like I was wrong.

The second half of that game was more disappointing than when gas hit $4.60 a gallon two summers ago—gas broke my bank, Lebron and the Cavs are breaking my heart. There were just so many things wrong that it’s hard to pick where to really start.

We’ll start with the fact that the Celtics are starting to look like a team again after being plagued by Rasheed Wallace all regular season (check out Bill Simmon's article). When Rondo got knocked down in the second quarter, all of the players on the court rushed over to help him up. Every starter ended up in double digits. Paul Pierce’s jump shot finally decided to show up. Kevin Garnett played a solid all around game and shot the ball well. Ray Allen looked about 6 or 7 years younger, running off screens, draining 3’s, and generally ending any and all hopes of a Cavalier’s comeback. And then there was Rajon Rondo (who incidentally is in second place to Sam Cassel as the Human Who Most Looks Like ET).

Now, Rondo’s Game 5 wasn’t nearly as spectacular as his Game 4, but he still controlled this game. He didn’t score at all in the first half but had 16 in the second (which I had to turn off with 5 minutes left and the score 100-75). Nobody on the Cavs can guard him except maybe Lebron, and if that happens even more matchup problems ensue. Seriously though, Mo Williams looks more clueless on defense than when Tobey Maguire a.k.a. Peter Parker finds out he has special powers in Spider Man. Part of the credit has to be given to Rondo here, who is lightning quick, but still, Williams is an NBA point guard. Rondo can’t shoot outside of 17 feet and he is still demolishing whomever the Cavs put on him.

But this article is not about how well the Celtics played, but about how disappointing the Cavaliers were. After the second quarter, it wasn’t even a game. I’ll start by saying that the Antawn Jamison trade is not looking so good now. At the time, I had hopes that Jamison would be that second option that Lebron has needed—looks like I was wrong again. While Jamison is a good scorer, he is just average in the rest of his game: average defender, average rebounder, average everything. History isn’t on his side either. Jordan-Pippen, Shaq-Kobe, Magic-Kareem, Stockton-Malone, Russell-Cousy, Lebron-Jamison. It just doesn’t fit. Jamison is good, but good isn’t enough. This is just another failure by the Cavs management in giving Lebron a second option (see Larry Hughes). I know nothing can be done now, but Amar’e would have been a significantly better choice.

This next statement goes against my general rule of disliking all foreign-born players (Canada doesn’t count, thereby exonerating Steve Nash. And before people start attacking me, all I have to say is Sasha Vujacic), but Anderson Varejao was the only player worth watching for the Cavaliers. I hate myself for admitting this, but I kept hoping Mike Brown would keep him in the game. Sure, Varejao can’t do anything particularly well—at least he hustled.

Now comes the worst part of the article. Lebron played absolutely horrible. There, I said it. I don’t want to go to sleep tonight because I am afraid that performance is going to give me nightmares as bad as the first—and last—time I saw Snow White (To this day, I refuse to see that movie).

Lebron was 3-14 and didn’t make a field goal until the 3rd quarter (nice full-court, football pass by Mo Williams. Seeing as you have forgotten how to play basketball, how about you try out as quarterback for my Chicago Bears). His whole demeanor and approach to the game just didn’t make sense to me. If there really is a problem with his elbow, then it makes absolutely zero sense to keep hoisting 3’s. Also, common knowledge dictates that if you aren’t shooting well and just happen to be built like a house and are as fast as anyone and the league and basically just THE SINGLE MOST ATHLETIC HUMAN BEING THAT MANKIND HAS SEEN IN RECORDED HISTORY, then you should probably attack the hoop (Yes, that it what I considered yelling at the TV on multiple occasions until I remembered that Lebron is thousands of miles away and can’t hear me through the TV; not that I haven’t done that before…). I just don’t get it. Lebron—don’t prove to me that you are a great outside shooter when you haven’t been shooting well and (supposedly) have a hurt elbow. In the playoffs, do what you are best at. The whole league knows that when you decide to attack the hoop, you are the surest two points. No one can stop you, just look up the 48 point game.

I cannot believe I’m going to say this, but this wouldn’t have happened to Kobe. Sure, Kobe may pout, whine, and overall act like a selfish egotist, but he would never let an injury get to him like this. Kobe plays with hurt ankles, broken fingers, bad backs, you name it. He plays through the pain. MJ did it too, most memorably notching 38 points in the “Flu Game,” where he played with a 100+ degree fever, either food poisoning or a stomach virus, and was previously told not to play by Bulls trainers. If Lebron truly has an elbow injury, then he needs to grow some cojones and sack up. There is no other way to put it.

All that being said, there is no way I am counting the Cavs out. If they get it together, they can come back and win this series. The Magic are another story for another time. Lebron can be an absolute beast, and I hope more than anything that he returns to his normal self on Thursday night. Otherwise, the Cavs are goin’ fishin’ and the Summer of the Quest for Lebron begins.
 
Every sports fan has one (or many). They always find a way to ruin your day, one way or another. Sometimes they are the best player on the other team or they are just some annoying bench player. Yes, they are the most hated athletes in sports.

Clearly, what is about to follow is a (somewhat) biased list. It also should be noted that this list will exclude any off the court, field, course, etc. activities. These are players hated solely for their on-court performance (current players only). In no particular order, they are:

·         A.J. Pierzynski (catcher, Chicago White Sox)—Pierzynski is easily the most hated player in baseball.  I hate him just for the fact that he plays for the White Sox, rivals of my favorite team Chicago Cubs. However, he has done so much more. He has caused bench-clearing brawls, has been accused of kneeing a trainer in the groin, stepping on Minnesota Twins first baseman Justin Morneau with his spikes, and even his manager, Ozzie Guillen, had this to say about Pierzynski: “If you play against him, you hate him. If you play with him, you hate him a little less.”

·         Brett Favre (quarterback, Minnesota Vikings) and Terrell Owens (wide receiver, Buffalo Bills)—I bet you never thought you would see these two in a list about most hated athletes. However, Favre earned his spot on this list by continually annoying the American public each spring with his never ceasing retirement debates (and the fact that the same Wrangler ad has been running for at least 4 years). As far as T.O. goes, what hasn’t he done to earn a spot? There really isn’t enough room for me to write all that he has done. Basically, he is a drama king who wears out his welcome at every organization he has been a part of, and although his touchdown celebrations are funny, defines the phrase “pain in the butt.”

·         Manu Ginobli (shooting guard, San Antonio Spurs) and Sasha Vujacic (shooting guard, Los Angeles Lakers)—these two basketball players are foreign-born and their countries are much more famous for soccer. Coincidence? I think not. Ginobli and Vujacic are both notorious floppers who frustrate pretty much everyone. Their flopping is as blatant as the bald spot on Ginobli’s head, and they need to realize that this is not soccer. I once saw a play where Carlos Boozer elbowed Vujacic in the shoulder, and Vujacic fell down holding his nose. A trainer was called in and they had to stop for three minutes, all for nothing. Flopping has no place in the NBA.

Part of the beauty of sports is having players that you love to hate, if that makes sense. The sports world would not be complete without them, and they add another dimension to the fun. However, that does not stop me from rooting against them every single time.

 
Lebron James is not going to leave Cleveland. I am making that prediction right now. As homage to my buddy Knox, it’s a “Guaransheed.” There are too many reasons for the King to stay, and in no particular order of importance they are:

·         Money. The Cleveland Cavaliers can offer Lebron more money than any other team in the league. For the simplicity’s sake and not delving deep into the NBA rulebook, the Cavs can offer Lebron a six year maximum contract, while other teams could only offer him a five year max contract, albeit he could not receive quite as much per year.1 I also don’t think he would get any more money in endorsements by moving to Chicago, L.A., or New York. Lebron is a super-duper-uber-star;  he is going to make tons of money regardless of where he is.

·         The Jersey Change. At the beginning of the March, Lebron officially submitted a request to the NBA office to change his jersey number from 23 to 6 next season. Now, you may say that this is trivial, but that’s where you are wrong. The thing is, if Lebron were to move to another team next season, he could choose whatever number he wants. He only has to submit the request if he wants to stay in Cleveland. Whether you believe this is important or not, I think that this shows Lebron wants to stay.

·         The Cavs are designed for LeBron. The 2009-2010 Cavs are almost perfect for Lebron. He has a plethora of outside shooters, Antawn Jamison can be a viable second scoring option, he has a role player who will do whatever it takes to win in Varejao, and he has two centers, which although they are old, can still hold their own. No other team can offer that type of support for Lebron, except maybe the Trailblazers, who unfortunately doesn’t have enough money to throw at Lebron (although it isn’t going to happen, I can only dream. Lebron, Brandon Roy as his Pippen, Andre Miller running the point, a healthy Greg Oden patrolling the key. I get giddy just thinking about this).

·         Ohio is home for Lebron. This reason also may seem insignificant, but really I think it holds some weight. Lebron has spent his whole life in Ohio. He grew up there and has played basketball there his entire life. He built a mammoth, 30,000 square foot house in Ohio. While he could still leave, it seems that Lebron still has very strong attachments to Ohio.

·         Legacy. This may be the biggest thing. Lebron wants to leave a legacy and go down as the greatest player ever. He does not want to be the next MJ; he wants to be the only Lebron. That’s part of the reason he is changing his jersey. 23 is synonymous with Jordan, and while there have been plenty of other famous players to wear 6, James will surely eclipse them in terms of popularity. Furthermore, most of the great champions stayed with the same teams; Russell with the Celtics, Kobe with the Lakers, Jordan with the Bulls, Magic with the Lakers, Bird with the Celtics… When Lebron’s career is over, he wants to make the strongest case he can for GOAT (Greatest of All Time). It seems that players who move around a lot have that knock against them—they couldn’t win with one team, they weren’t loyal enough, etc.

All told, I could be completely wrong. Lebron will ultimately do what he thinks is best for him and his family, and rightly so. It just seems that Lebron has so much to keep and gain by staying in Cleveland and much to lose by leaving. Whether I am right or wrong, only time will tell…
 
For college basketball fans everywhere, March is the one of, if not the, most glorious times of the year. It is March Madness, those hallowed three weeks every fan from San Diego to South Carolina dreams about. Within those three weeks, legends are made, hearts are broken, tears are shed, big shot after big shot is made, but most of all, brackets are destroyed.

Brackets. Almost every college basketball fan, and many who aren’t fans, have them. People enter their brackets into office pools and online to sites like espn.com. Before the tournament starts, everyone is sure that they picked the right winners and more importantly the right upsets. However, people are usually wrong with their picks. The people with the brackets typically are not the so called experts on Sportscenter who have spent the whole season watching college basketball. No, the best brackets are picked by people like office secretaries who picked Ohio over Georgetown because Ohio has green jerseys and green is the color of the sweater that their dog Sergeant Whiskers used to wear.

Quite frankly, it’s embarrassing. I have grown up around basketball my entire life. My dad used to be the head coach of Concordia. We can tell you why every team loses, we just can’t pick the right ones. We go online, scour teams’ point differential and other statistics that prove to be meaningless. We read all of the “expert’s” commentary. Yet for all of our hard work, out of our entire family, our combined bracket is in last place out of family. That’s right; the most basketball knowledgeable people in the family are losing to my mom, brother, and sister. My sister is in first place, and that’s not even the worst of it.

She probably couldn’t tell you one current college basketball player. To make things even more depressing, she picked “Boiler,” not Baylor, to win several rounds. She asked if “Javier” won instead of Xavier. There is no rational explanation for her picks, yet she still is destroying my dad and me.

My sister has not watched a single game of college basketball before March Madness. Now, she is engrossed in it. During the first round while we were on break and she still had school, she would text me asking for score updates. She stands and yells at the TV just like the rest of us. Therein lies the beauty of March Madness. It takes people who are ordinarily not big fans of the sport and turns them into yelling, screaming lunatics like any other diehard fan. It gives people who didn’t know Northern Iowa was even a school a chance to enjoy the game as much as the one person who has been cheering for Northern Iowa their entire life. March Madness brings people of all walks of life together because of the simplest of things—a bracket.

 
No matter how good a team is, there eventually will be a game that comes down to the wire. In these situations, it is crucial to have a clutch player capable of making the big shots, leading the team down the field, etc. Anyone can throw a football or shoot a basket or hit a golf ball, but not everyone can with millions watching on TV, camera lights flashing, an incredibly loud crowd… you get the picture, and this is where the clutch players come in. Here are the most clutch players in three major sports today:

Football- There are too many positions, so I am just going to stick with the quarterback, who has the single most impact on the game, especially in late situations. The most clutch quarterback in the NFL is Tom Brady. While Peyton Manning may have better overall stats like total passing yards and touchdowns, no one in the NFL is as good as Tom Brady at the end of the game. He has 29 game winning drives and 21 fourth quarter comebacks, with many coming in crucial playoff games, noted by his 3 Super Bowl rings (profootballreference.com)

Baseball- Here I am going to select one pitcher (closer) The closer is clearly Mariano Rivera. The guy has ice in his veins and sweats clutch. He embraces the tight spots, especially where it matters most: the playoffs. He has the record for lowest career playoff era (.74), most saves (39), most saves to clinch series (9), etc. Clearly, there is none like Rivera.

Basketball- I’m assuming your first instinct is to guess Kobe Bryant, but that’s where you are wrong. Kobe may have hit the most, but percentage wise he is nowhere near the top. The criteria here is who is best at hitting game winning shots, and that player is Carmelo Anthony. Of players with over 20 game winning shot attempts, Carmelo stands on top with a dazzling 48% while Kobe hovers at around 33%, a pretty big difference if you ask me. (Statistics from 81games.com)

Clutch players clearly are important players to have, but they can’t do everything. They need a team around them. Take debatably the most clutch athlete ever, Michael Jordan. In key situations he passed the ball to players like John Paxson and Steve Kerr and the Bulls won.  The moral of the story is clutch players are key, but they can’t do it themselves.
 
Over the holidays I was at a Christmas party with my parents and I overhead some people talking about Tim Tebow. I paid more attention and someone basically said that he was a good quarterback because he could pass well, run, and was a Christian. I was taken aback by this statement. When did religious affiliation become synonymous with athletics?

I have heard these same arguments/statements several times now and every time I just don’t get it. The people making these statements seem to equate religion with some sort of athletic skill, as if being a Christian or a Buddhist makes athletes better. Back to Tim Tebow, his being a Christian doesn’t make him a more accurate quarterback or allow him to run faster. While God gave Tebow those abilities, they were not predicated on Tebow’s belief in God. Tebow can throw well and run fast because he worked hard.

Religion just does not make a difference in sports. If it did, then why would notorious hedonists like Dennis Rodman, Wilt Chamberlain, and Lawrence Taylor have so much success? Some people just got lucky with athletic gifts, and others didn’t.

Furthermore, people should not base who their favorite players/athletes on religious affiliation. By preferring Christian athletes over non-Christian athletes, all people are doing is passing judgment on the non-Christians, essentially saying they are not good enough. There are many non-Christian athletes making differences in the community and helping others just as much as any Christian athlete, yet the Christian community does not give the non-Christian nearly as much respect. This is a very self-righteous, “holier-than-thou” approach. Doesn’t God ask us to love everyone, regardless of personal beliefs? Jesus spent his time with the prostitutes and tax collectors, yet many Christians today shun athletes like Allen Iverson because he isn’t Tim Tebow or Kurt Warner. Religion aside, Allen Iverson plays as hard as, if not harder than, any person out there, but bring up Allen Iverson with your parents and they will most likely talk about his tattoos or past legal troubles.

To clarify, I don’t support many of the lifestyle choices some non-Christians make, but I think they should be loved and supported just as much as Christian athletes. Judgment doesn’t make anything better, and anyways, God is the only true judge
 
               Samuel Dalembert, Pierre Garcon,  Andre Berto, Stanley Arnoux, and Elvis Dumervil. Not exactly the first names that come to mind when you think of sports. It’s doubtful that you have even heard of many of these athletes, let alone one of them. But right now, they need your help more than ever.

                See, these athletes have one main aspect in common—they are all Haitian, and they all have relatives who live in Haiti.

In case you haven’t been paying attention to the news lately or just don’t know, Haiti was rocked by a 7.0 earthquake near the capital of Port-au-Prince.  Thousands have died and countless others are in daily need of shelter, food and water. 

Many of the Haitian athletes waited days before they got hold of their families and fortunately, most of the family members were safe. However, Haitian athletes were not completely unscathed. The Haitian national soccer team lost about 30 people connected to the team, and as of several days ago many were still buried beneath the rubble.

At the same time, there has been an outpouring of money and support for Haiti in the world of professional sports. While ten NBA players including Pau Gasol and Derrick Rose pledged to donate $1,000 for every point they scored last Friday, the New York Yankees donated $500,000.  I could give you more examples of pro athletes helping, but I have a strict word limit.

Needless to say, Haiti still needs help. It is so easy for people to sit back and say, “Oh, that’s awful,” but end up doing nothing because they are removed from the situation. The fact of the matter is, it’s extremely easy to help, and all you have to do is text. You can text YELE ($5) or HAITI ($10) to 501501 or Haiti ($10) to 90999. It’s really that easy. All you have to do is sacrifice one of your non-fat, sugar-free, double caramel, triple blended soy mocha frappuccinos with extra whipped cream from Starbucks, and instead you can help a country in dire need
 
               Records are meant to be broken. Michael Phelps broke the record for most medals in an Olympics with 8 in Beijing. Usain Bolt smashed the 100 and 200 meter records.  Roger Federer just set the record for most Grand Slams won by a male player. Then there is the New Jersey Nets; they are breaking records, just the wrong ones.

                The New Jersey Nets recently broke the NBA-record for most losses to start a season with 18. 18 losses. Not quite the way to start off a season. While they finally won their first game Friday, the damage has already been done. As of Monday, the Nets were 15 games back of the conference-leading Magic. Looks like no playoffs this year Nets.

                Why so bad you ask. Well, their roster is abysmal. They have one legitimate NBA starter in Devin Harris. After that, it’s just a bunch of young players who should be coming off the bench. They start Trenton Hassell. TRENTON HASSELL- the guy who averages six points a game for his career.  Besides the fact that Hassell is probably the worst player on the Nets, there are a ton of free agents like Wally Szczerbiak or anyone else for that matter.

                Besides the fact that the roster is downright horrible and would lose to multiple college teams, it is frustrating that Nets management recently fired their coach, Lawrence Frank. It’s not his fault; Phil Jackson couldn’t win with these players. Nets management has assembled the worst roster in recent memory, yet they don’t take any responsibility. They are too busy focusing on next season. That’s probably a good idea, but they could at least try to make it a little less obvious.

                So for all you Nets fans out there, I feel your pain. I had to watch my Heat go 15-67 a few years ago. There is hope for you; it just won’t happen until after this season is over. Come April, May, and June, I would get out my juju beads, Ouija boards, 8 balls, horseshoes, 3 leaf clovers, whatever, and hope that the basketball gods shine on you. Because short of a great draft pick and some amazing off-season signings (Lebron anyone?), the Nets are poised for failure for years to come.
 
               That’s right. It’s that time of year again. After a long summer, it’s finally here. The World Series? No, of course not baseball, which when watched is basically a glorified sleeping aid. On the other hand, the world’s greatest, highest scoring, most entertaining sport is starting today. The NBA season is underway!

                After a horrendous summer where every sports page and sports related TV show was bombarded by the dreariness of meaningless baseball games and yet another season of the Brett Favre reality show, basketball is back. Players are refreshed, coach’s voices are rejuvenated, and sports fans are ready to see some real action.

                The season starts out today with a little rivalry action as the Los Angeles Lakers begin their championship defense against the lowly Clippers. While the Lakers look promising with their off-season addition Ron Artest and most everyone healthy, here’s hoping they fall short this year, because everyone knows the Lakers are annoying, Kobe is overrated, Pau is soft, and Sasha is ugly. But moving on.

                In all honesty, the NBA has us absolutely stoked this year. However, we do have some pressing questions:

·         Will Lebron finally get his first ring? He has the complementary players he has been missing, and with Shaquille O’Neal, aka Superman aka The Diesel, aka The Big Aristotle aka the Big Shaqtus, Cleveland definitely looks promising.

·         When will the Knicks stop sucking? Seriously though, the Knicks have one of the highest team salaries in the whole league and are located in the top market in the U.S. There is no excuse other than they just plain suck, their management sucks, and they deserve to suck forever because they once employed the worst G.M. in Isiah Thomas. Seriously, that karma thing will come back to get ya.

·         Which rookie, other than Blake Griffin, is going to explode and show some signs of superstardom? This year’s draft was one of the weaker in recent history, so it will be interesting to see who shines.

·         When are the Thunder going to make the playoffs? If not this year, then it has to be soon. They have too much young talent not to be good.

·         How good will the Spurs be? With the addition of Richard Jefferson, the Spurs are poised for another deep playoff run, but the more important question is how will Tim Duncan’s knees hold up? If he is healthy, then the Spurs have as good a chance as anyone to win it all. If not, prepare for another disappointing season.

Needless to say, this season should be a blast. While a little clichéd, only time will tell who will win it all. Truthfully, anything can happen, and just one untimely injury can ruin a season. While there are some teams we dislike, hate, or in the case of the Lakers, loathe, here’s to another great NBA season and the ABL: Anyone But (the) Lakers!

 
Last Wednesday all we wanted to do was watch day 2 of the NBA season. We were all ready to watch the Jazz take on the Nuggets, but much to our dismay, everyone was watching the World Series. Such a sad day.  We do understand that this is the championship and all, but quite honestly, we would much rather take regular season basketball over a playoff baseball game, but that’s just us. Clearly, some people were excited about baseball (although that seems to be an oxy-moron).

                So, as much as I hate to admit this, for about the last week we actually watched the World Series. As of Sunday night, the Yankees were poised to win their 27th World Series title, up on the Phillies 3 games to 1. Whoop de doo.

                Really though, it’s not a huge surprise that the Yankees are winning. The Yankees’ payroll is $50 million higher than the second-highest team, the Mets, and about $80 million higher than the Phillies’ payroll. Herein lies one of the fundamental problems of baseball (other than it’s just plain boring): you can quite often buy your way to success. The Yankees make the playoffs almost every year by merely ponying up the big bucks and acquiring the best talent out there. Where’s the fun in that?

                Furthermore, it’s hard to take baseball seriously. How can you, when it seems that everyone worth noticing in the last ten years has admitted to using steroids.  While we know that people have talked and analyzed the steroids issue to death, we just find it hard to watch a sport where players have harmed their bodies in order to gain an advantage over others. There’s just not much to say.

                Overall, this series hasn’t been all that exciting to us. While baseball fans will talk about all the amazing plays, we just think that it’s another example of Goliath beating up on David. Quite honestly, the Phillies should just let the Yankees win Game 5 so we can get back to basketball season.